Random Rants 07/16/2017 uh, I mean Random Rants 07/17/2017


NP – Thelma Houston “Don’t Leave Me This Way” via Sirius XM

Well its almost midnight so I suppose I’ll have to change the blog title to Random Rants 07/17/2017

Have you tried these new caramel M&Ms. OMG(osh) they are like candy crack.

Candy Crack

Hey maybe that’s the new mobile game. Candy Crack. Pieces of hard candy come on a conveyor belt and you have to crack it just right. Too lightly and it doesn’t crack. Too heavy and you crush it and it isn’t Candy Crush but Candy Crack. The idea is to crack hard candy so you can share with friends. The more people you can befriend by offering pieces of hard candy the more you score and advance. You can buy better whammer devices and candy pieces from Google Play or the App Store. Heck we’ll even make a Windows 10 app optimized for touch and mouse control. The Amazon App Store can’t have it though, we have an ongoing dispute involving my former app (I can’t say what it is for legal reasons sorry but lets just say it could have changed my life).

American Top 40: this week in 1976 playing now. On Sirius XM. Their app is on Amazon’s App Store but on Windows you use the internet, no app. 


So another game ends with a bases loaded walk. Run scores, game over. If you’re a pitcher how do you let that happen? Just rear back and throw it right down the middle. If it gets hit it gets hit. Get carried out on your shield. Be defiant!

Todd’s Good Vibrations

Todd Rundgren did a version of “Good Vibrations”? Rhetorical question actually as I’m listening to said song. Inoffensive but if it never happened it wouldn’t be missed. The time-space continuum would not be affected if Todd called in sick and never did this song. Well except maybe song #41 on this week’s countdown becomes #40. So it gets played. I’m sure it was a male solo artist cause it works best with the joke. So the song gets played. The solo dude’s future wife hears it. She reaches out to the barely famous singer and after a torrid romance they get married. Now the singer doesn’t have a drug or alcohol habit (beyond the occasional social drink or two and the one time he tried heroin in college, scared off the habit after seeing the dragon while fleeing from the illusion of Big Foot). Well she gets hooked on cigarettes and smokes 4 packs a day. This scares our marginally successful singer and he decides to act. Well fortunately our barely one hit wonder in addition to finding his wife from his lone appearance on the top 40 also parlayed his exposure into some local fame which led to his car dealership (named after the song that made it to the top 40 for a week) becoming a huge success. He uses every penny of his fortune to fund research in how to cure Nicotine addiction. He comes up with “Nictojection”. Three simple shots and the nicotine addiction is gone. She is completely free of her previous acute nicotine addiction and the treatment has a 95% success rate.

So thanks Todd, your silly remake prevented someone finding a way to end nicotine addiction.

Did Utopia ever have a top 40 hit? 

BTW: I could have looked up the charts for that week and found #41 but why, takes too much effort. 

And that my friends is how you write a blog when you have nothing to say. 

Baby Driver

You gotta see it. It’s about this one year old who delivers pizza and, well no. Although arcade and Super NES fans might be familiar with “Captain Commando”. Great side scrolling beat-em-up (yes that was a game genre in the 90s). One of the four selectable characters was a baby controlling a mech. Yeah I usually use Baby Commando (yep, that’s the name). And kill a bunch of knife wielding Randy Savages. I am disappointed I can’t get that game on my Xbox One. And it isn’t on that new Super NES mini replica console. I’m still mad I couldn’t get the NES one for my mom. Nintendo could have filled the demand. I’m not a fan of them. That’s alright there are other ways to play their gam … I mean, copyright infringement is bad my friends, don’t do it.

And Now a Word About Best NY Pizza

Well during my extended review of Baby Driver I mentioned pizza. So if you want the pizza try the official pizza of the Random Rants blog. Best NY Pizza,. With locations in Wesley Chapel and somewhere around Tampa Best NY Pizza serves a slice of the Bronx to you. Whether you choose to dine in their pleasantly atmosphered sit down area or order a quickly prepared pizza to go you’ll enjoy a high quality pie with superior ingredients and service that will make you smile. Stuck at home? It’s all good as they deliver as well (limited delivery area, some restrictions apply).

Discount coupons available if you sign up for their pizza club thingy and specials available if you order at their kiosk. You know the ones that you see on those FB memes that some say will put the $15/hour McDonalds employees out of work. They weren’t making those up. Now can they replace a substantial part of the restaurant work force (or at least the fast food industry). Hmm … don’t know about that but in a world that wants fast and cheap its certainly possible. 

I’m trying to sell ads in reverse. I figure once Best NY Pizza sees what a good job I did they’ll pay for the ad I inserted in my blog. Because I have that faith in small business people and humanity.


Yep football starts soon. Got my fantasy mag so I’m ready for my draft. Not too much longer. That’s all. At least I like baseball now so that’s good.

Final Word

I think I need to start writing whenever something comes to me. Because when I sit down and try to remember the serious stuff it doesn’t come. So I’d like to thank my future sponsor Best NY Pizza for their unknown to them future support. Be well. 

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